Dorit Kemsley Interview

There is a duty for every journalist to do their research; to gain rapport and strategically pull back the layers of a public figure’s private personality. It’s a skill hard to muster – and even harder to master – unless, of course, you already know the person. And never has that felt more the case when I sit down with Dorit Kemsley. 

Our first interaction occurred in December 2016, when Dorit stepped her stilettos onto the set of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Of course, we were not Zoom-ing face to face (and showing off our matching green velvet bed frames) like we’re doing now, but the vivacious, confident and sovereign of fashion-faux-pa slights felt just as close to me as my oldest girlfriends in the time it takes to say ‘belvedere club soda in a short glass, three lemons squeezed in really well, carcass out.’ It’s a trait loyal fans of the show can be scrutinised for; to be so emotionally invested in the drama of socialite ladies anchored by a CGI-generated diamond in hand. But the Housewives gravitas is not to be messed with; it boasts a shelf-life of over 19 years [Orange County was incepted in 2006], has taken over 11 hot spots in the United States, and it’s not-up-for-debate crowning jewel, Beverly Hills, amassed a whopping 4 million viewers in just 35 days in its most recent 14th season. It’s dominated the subject matters of every podcast going, generated more-than-you-can-count memes and soundbites, and even had the likes of Rihanna and Ben Stiller weighing in during professional red carpet affairs. The key to its success is embedded in the title of every branch of the franchise. No matter the speculation, what we are consuming is Real—interspersed with the escapism that can only come from watching a grown woman blow over $500 in a grocery store, or 10 times that on a spontaneous peruse around the local fashion houses…or making bets over Birkins…

But it’s not just the glamour and (often contested) extravagance that keeps fans tuning in. For someone like Dorit, who has starred on screen for eight whole seasons – 175 episodes, approximately 8,000 hours and one cigarette, to be precise – it’s just reality. At the time of our conversation, the first instalment of the season 14 reunion has just aired. It marked one of the most pivotal stints Dorit has done so far in her career—one that followed a home invasion in season 12, a grappling battle with PTSD in season 13 and the breakdown of her marriage to PK (Paul Kemsley) in most recent episodes. This time round, however, it was clear to all that Dorit had become unburdened by the hinges of politeness and censorship. Giving the ‘bleep guy’ a run for their money with the amount of c-bombs dropped, leaving her cast mates with mouths agape and bulging forehead veins and out-speeding the paparazzi in the front seat of her G-Wagon, Dorit – despite it all – showed up like never before. 

Yet as every televised story goes, there’s always more than meets the final cut. When I first reached out to Dorit for this feature, she was excited but curious—she’s spent almost a decade of her adult life at the mercy of someone else’s editing, after all. As always, she committed wholly: shooting at the The Prospect Hotel in Hollywood just a few weeks later. And now, as we finally connect from the comfort of her home (with an IV-drip currently being installed…I’ll spare you the details), she wastes no time pulling me behind the curtains and into her private reality—filled with harsh truths, happy memories, painful reminders and hopeful wishes. She’s hellbent on telling her story, her way. And the rest? We’ll just have to keep watching. 

DORIT KEMSLEY: Talk to me, my darling.

ELLA WEST: How are you feeling right now? 

DORIT: Oh, this is such a loaded question. The truth, as I am only committed to giving, not the greatest. I'd like to find my way out of it as soon as possible. Unfortunately with a lot of the things that I have going on personally, it makes it a little challenging. I'm a sensitive person and family means everything to me and the idea of it being broken and the challenges that I'm facing make it difficult to feel my best. So I'm in the thick of it, but hopefully—not hopefully, I KNOW that there are brighter days ahead. 

ELLA: With the reunion airing last night, I’d imagine it’s an intense time to answer that. 

DORIT: I had to relive a moment that really hurt me a lot. We filmed the reunion five weeks ago and I was completely blindsided when PK had sent a statement. No matter what happens with PK and I, he's always been my best friend, my husband, we're family. I never believed that things could ever get to a place where our bond and the foundation would ever be broken to the extent that we could do things to hurt each other that crosses the line. I didn't want to go toe to toe. I know his feelings about what I had said in the moment about him not being a great dad, I not only apologised to him, but I – in my confessional and in the after show – immediately took it back and explained that this is after a couple of months of not speaking, I was really worried about the kids. I felt very, very bad. It was in a weak, vulnerable moment after a seven page vicious email. You can only take the high road for so long. But that’s the cheap shot of it all because he did that statement for the audience, for the public. I don't like it when people cater to that, when people are not honest and they're not being totally genuine and honest.

ELLA: This just goes to show how much of yourself you give to The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It really is real—and we’ll get into that later. But while we get to know so much about you and your life on the show, I want to know about you before the cameras went up. When you were younger, what did you want to be when you grew up?

DORIT: I wanted to be a lawyer from a very young age. But at five or six years old, I wanted to be a cowgirl. I was sure I wanted to be a cowgirl, I loved horses, they were my favourite animal. And I spoke to my father about it and he explained that it doesn't bring in a great income. So after that, I was like, “Okay, well, then I'm not really sure what I want to do." But do you remember those court shows like Divorce Court? I just loved that forum and I was very drawn to being a lawyer—even to this day. I think I would have been a really great lawyer. But, you know, that wasn't my destiny. 

ELLA: You could pull a Kim Kardashian? 

DORIT: Someone said that to me the other night, actually. 

ELLA: What sector would you specialise in?

DORIT: I think maybe, probably, more so than criminal, it would be divorce. I think I'd want to be in family law. I would be that lawyer that if I saw that there was a chance for reconciliation, I would strongly try to get the two parties to put down their weapons—especially if there were children involved. 

ELLA: How would you cope with the studying? Were you studious? 

DORIT: I always did well in school. I've always been an overachiever and a perfectionist and  needed to get good grades. I graduated magna cum laude from university, I was on the Dean's list.

ELLA: So have you always been confident in who you are? 

DORIT: Always, always, always. From a fairly young age – definitely into my 20s and 30s – I had confidence.  I'm very sure of myself. I think that if anything, reality TV took me into a different space—especially in the first year. And by the way, this is not something I wanted to do at all. They painted me as a very hands-off, absent mother. It’s the first time in my life I'd ever heard someone say that I’m faking an accent, for example. I was so misunderstood and it’s not that I lost my confidence, but it did feel strange. But I think that I was always confident up until recently. Post home invasion, there was about two and a half years where I was a shell of myself.

ELLA: It was heartbreaking to watch. 

DORIT: I really white-knuckled it the whole way, but I was in a privileged position to do so in the sense that my children were none the wiser. And so it was really important for me to keep things as normal as possible, despite what was going on inside of me. That got me through. The burglars already took so much, I didn’t want them to take my livelihood. I wanted things to be as normal in the house and with me as possible for the kids, so when I’d have my wobbles, I fought them. 

ELLA: And when you have those wobbles, is it easy for you to get yourself back into a strong sense of self? How do you navigate not being in control of your own narrative and your own story when you see your life – the good and the tragic – play out on screen?

DORIT: I hate watching the show, I have to force myself. It's never easy or fun and it's not a good feeling to feel misunderstood or to feel defensive or to feel like you have to explain yourself.  That's not a great position, no one would like that. But I have learned to put things into perspective. In particular with the show, there's ebbs and flows, and the audience is very fickle. They can love you one moment and just like that they turn on you and hate you. That is the nature of it. I don't put too much stock in the audience and I don't try to cater to them. So I try my best to talk things through… Especially in the situation that I'm in – really depleted and cloudy – and I just want to feel strong and happy and confident and excited (because that's who I am and I enjoy that so much). Plus I pride myself on being such a great mother to my children. They are the most important things in my life. And when a mother is going through a lot, no matter how much you try – and I do, I really put on a brave face – you’re not the best version of yourself, so you're never gonna be the best version of yourself for them. 

ELLA: Yeah, while you can’t completely escape it, you can at least separate yourself from it and compartmentalise for your children. 

DORIT: Yes! I’ve learned that is the one thing about the show that I couldn't do the first few years. I'm so glad you brought this up. I found it challenging to compartmentalise the first few years. And when I learned how to do it, it made being able to do the show easier.

ELLA: Some would argue you were made for the show—especially your fashion. Do you think your style is something you were born with or is it something that evolved and you learned? 

DORIT: I’ve always had my own particular style. I've always loved fashion and I've always loved playing with it. So when I I was first able to wear my mother's clothes at 11 or 12 years old, I just remember going into her closet in the morning and putting together these outfits. And I used to come to school dressed in things that adults would wear out. I really loved fashion and used to  always want to make something my own—like add a patch, add safety pins. But I didn't set out to have a career in fashion. I felt like marketing was the better fit because it was general enough, then fashion kind of was an opportunity that opened. I spent the majority of my 20s in Italy, one of the most fashionable places in the world, and a place hands down where fashion is a priority for everyone. I mean, women get dressed up to go to the grocery store. They take pride in the way they look. It's like a religion there. So having spent my 20s there and they were very formative years, it took my love of fashion to a whole other level. So the answer to the question is I think it's innate and it's also something that was developed from the circumstances that I lived.

ELLA: If you could swap wardrobes with any celebrity, do you have anyone that comes to mind?

DORIT: I would probably say someone like Audrey Hepburn, I’d like to swap my jewellery for Elizabeth Taylors. But whole wardrobe, I would probably say Carrie Bradshaw because she has got the blend of everything. She's got the vintage. She's just got it all.

ELLA: Are you a Sex and the City fan?

DORIT: Bible.  

ELLA: Who would you say you’re most like? 

DORIT: Definitely Carrie. 

ELLA: You’re giving a fair bit of Samantha energy too lately…

DORIT: There are elements, absolutely.  

ELLA: And you want to be a lawyer…so Miranda too. I think you're hybrid. I also want to talk about your time as a designer. When you were traveling the world, did you ever think of a legacy that you'd want to leave behind in your work? 

DORIT: I never thought of myself in a way where I was going to leave some huge imprint on the world. But I think as an overachiever by nature, anything that I do, I not only put 150% into it, but I like to leave an impression. I want it to be remembered and appreciated. As a designer, I always wanted the collections to be something I was very proud of and something to be noticed.

ELLA: You’ve spoken on RHOBH about putting that world on pause when you became a wife and mother. What’s something you wish you could tell yourself back then that you know now?

DORIT: So I didn't put my career on hiatus to be a stay-at-home mother and wife, it was a choice that I made based on an uncomfortable conversation. It was the first fight that PK and I had. PK and I were very co-dependent. I had my own business, I had my factories in Italy and in Hong Kong so I had to travel and was selling all over the world. I was also looking to grow it bigger and bigger. PK and I were not the type of people that were independent. And by the way, there's no right or wrong. One of the couples that I admire most, they've been together for 30 plus years, I absolutely adore them both, she’s one of my best friends: Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin. At times, they're like ships in the night and yet they remain very close and have a wonderful marriage but that's what's always worked for them. But I think with mine and PK's personalities, it wouldn’t work, I was very involved with everything. I looked after him and I was his right-hand person and confidant and advisor, so it was a decision that I had made. It was either this relationship or this career. And at first when he had said, you know, “One of us needs to give it up and I think it should be you," I had a really, really strong reaction. I remember I stormed out and I went to go meet a girlfriend. We had only been together for about a year, but it was different. I was engaged twice before PK to two wonderful men—and I didn't go down the aisle. And with PK, after three months, I felt like I'd known him my whole life. There was just something very different. It was like two pieces of a puzzle that fit.  And when I was there, sitting and talking it through with my girlfriend, I thought, “Wait a minute, fuck, do I need to stop and actually think? What do I really want right now? What does my heart want? Would I be okay saying fuck off and sticking with my business?” And I didn't feel like I would. My heart, my everything felt like this was my future. It wasn't an easy decision, but ultimately when you are faced with challenging decisions you have to really think about what is in your best interest. PK was the choice for me, and to build a life with him. If given the chance, I would make the same choice.

ELLA: I think anyone who watches the show can tell that you were born to be a mother—

DORIT: —Do you want to hear something crazy? And this is to all the women that feel like their biological clock is ticking. As much as I now wholeheartedly know I was absolutely born to be a mother and I'm so blessed, thank you God, for these two amazing children…I was not the girl that was desperate to get married or desperate to have children. I wasn't at all. I just thought if it's meant to be, it will be. I come from a very traditional family, but I just turned 35 when I met PK, 37 when I had Jagger, 39 when I had Phoenix. But I can tell you at 35, I was very much like, “If it's not meant to be, this is not in the cards.” And I was perfectly okay with that. Same with marriage. I believe in destiny and that things happen for a reason and you have to just trust in it. And I think you have to be proactive and you have to live your life and you have to keep moving forward and just trust the process. If something doesn't go your way, I believe that there's a reason. And I can tell you, in all the times that life’s been like that for me, I've always looked back and reflected, and it may take six months, it may take a year, but there's always that time where I go, “Now I understand why that happened. Now I get it.”

ELLA: And now you know motherhood was in your cards, what would you say has been the biggest lesson that it has taught you? 

DORIT: That my life means nothing compared to my children’s. Their lives are so much more important than my own. I remember when I first became a mother, the first minute, I was overwhelmed with so many emotions. I was holding my little Jagger with blonde hair and blue eyes and I was so in love. And I couldn't understand how I could be so in love with this baby that I'm meeting for the first time, like heart-aching love. And then there was this realisation like, “Oh my god, my entire job is to protect and to make sure that this person is okay.” And up until that point, you live your life where you wake up in the morning and you go to bed at night and you're thinking about yourself. You're thinking about what you need, what you want. Then all of a sudden, the first thought in the morning is him. So the biggest lesson is just how much more important they are and how their well-being is far more important to me than my own. You will make sacrifices because of that.

ELLA: Onto Housewives, I have a two-part question. Despite your hesitancy, what was it that made you sign on the dotted line to join the cast? And if you could have watched the entire journey your life would take being on the show, would you still have signed up to it or not? 

DORIT: So it was PK that pushed me to do the show. I didn't want to. I didn't want to even interview. We were new to Los Angeles, we had moved from Manhattan. I had just had Phoenix.  And when he asked me, I said, “Absolutely not, no f-ing way.” And he said, “Well, why don't you just meet with them? What's the worst? I'm sure they're not gonna offer you the job. But if they do, then we can discuss it.” Knowing full well that once you go through the process you can’t exactly be like, “Let me think about it." And looking back, I don't believe in regrets. I think it's a very useless sentiment and feeling. There's nothing you can do about it. And I think you have to trust that whatever it is, the hard things and even the good things, they're meant for us to take something, learn from it, and it's gonna help us grow. And I wouldn't change anything with the exception of maybe now having the knowledge that I have. I wouldn't have had the first few years as such a rookie fish out of water. It took a toll on me emotionally the first few years, going from a private person to a public person, I did not find that particularly easy. I am by nature a pretty private person.  

ELLA: So what qualities do you think a housewife would need to possess?

DORIT: The most important thing is that she has an opinion and isn’t afraid to express it. I think that is what makes a really good housewife. You have to be real. Having the privilege of seeing over eight years, those that have come and gone, you learn they should be true to who they are and contribute whether or not it's the popular opinion or action. I think that's what makes the show and relationships interesting. For them to be fabulous and have a wonderful lifestyle is just the proverbial cherry on the sundae. 

ELLA: And I suppose you learned that the hard way. Especially in this season, we're seeing a completely different side of you that is less “bubble-wrapped” and so much more outright. What sparked that shift?  

DORIT: It really started after the home invasion. I was like that for two and half years and then I had issues in my marriage—and I was going through all of this on my own. This led to a lot of issues. But, I did pantomime in London back in January 2024. I joined for the last shows. I did not know my lines, didn't know the singing, I didn't know anything. I had 48 hours to get ready, learn my lines, be able to sing songs on stage, do theatre and I had one dress rehearsal—which was two hours before we went live on our first show. I felt like it was impossible, but I managed to pull it off. I felt like I could do anything after I did that. It was like the top was burst open. All of a sudden I started to feel the confidence coming back. Like, “I’m strong and I've got this.” I was so desperate to come out of this very vulnerable place that I had been in for so long. I was so desperate to feel better with the PTSD that when I started to I was like, “Oh my god, I am never going back there.” That strength and that resilience, it was like fuel for me. I became more strong and I wasn't gonna let go of that strength. 

ELLA: How did that help you when filming the new season was just around the corner? 

DORIT: When we started filming I had a lot of feelings about some of the things that were going on with the group of ladies, in particular Kyle [Richards]—who had been my closest friend on the show. We had reached a point where it wasn't a small isolated thing. She had gone publicly saying that I exaggerated a friendship. I knew that the person that I was going into this season was a changed person. I had come out the other side. I had managed to push through PTSD, the worst of PTSD, and I didn't give a fuck. Honestly, I wanted to live my life. I was tired of feeling down low or not having peace. I was not ashamed, afraid or scared to make sure I do all the things that I needed to do to protect my peace and to make everybody know, "No more walking all over me.” When PK wanted to separate just before we started filming and make it public, him and I had spoken about it. I could not go into the season feeling like I had to protect or censor or hide. I needed to be present—feeling whatever I was feeling at whatever moment and being able to speak directly from my heart without having to even think or measure or worry. I needed to be unburdened and that's exactly why I didn't care how people felt about it. I didn't care whether it would be received well or not. When you reach a point where you don't give a shit, it becomes survival. This was what my soul needed and this is the way that I want to live all my days. I feel like it allows me to shape the life that I really want. 

ELLA: Do you feel like it's therapeutic or harmful to have those moments immortalised for others to consume? 

DORIT: I think that it's somewhere in between. All of the footage of my children when they're so young and them growing up is nice to have. Life is a series of evolution, so it's seeing that evolution unfold over the years. And I think that that makes it okay for it to be immortalised, if you will. Also, I mean, the outfits are so good. So why not have that immortalised?

ELLA: Amen. What’s been the best decision you’ve made for yourself this past year?

DORIT: Making the decision to prioritise peace and to do whatever it takes to eventually get to the place where I have it. If me and Kyle had not shared anything and I had left it, those things would eventually erode your soul—they’re inside of you in a fester. If you don't get things out, if you don't make things right, if you allow people to treat you a certain way, you're telling them that it's okay. And it's not. So when I made the decision “no longer”, I think that’s the best decision I could have made. 

ELLA: Do you think viewers of the show have a well-rounded view of who you are or do you think there's anything about yourself that you haven't shared that might surprise them?

DORIT: There's a lot that the audience doesn't know. Hand on my heart, and I’m not gonna even name names, but there are definitely people on the cast that I know make decisions based on what they believe will garner the most support. I've never ever been that person. I don't have the ability. Even the cigarette scene, it's not something that I would have necessarily loved everyone to have seen, but you never know how people are gonna react. If you try to be calculated about what you put on the screen, you'll never get the best TV, ultimately. I don't care how I'm coming across. I've signed up for a reality show, that’s exactly what they want.

ELLA: Let’s get some of your thoughts for the audience, then. First of all, what’s your dating advice for young women today? 

DORIT: God, I have so much advice and tips. I need to help the ladies in the world. Top tip, definitely don't settle for anything less than someone treating you right. Don't be in a rush. Be yourself. If it's not the right fit, if he doesn't like you even when you’re at your worst, you don't want it. Move on, it's not sustainable if you're not your complete self. 

ELLA: Red flags in men?

DORIT: It's so hard to narrow it down to a few. But I think if they are saying they're gonna call and not call, or if they are playing any kind of games, red flag. Walk away. If you see any kind of a temper—some people find it hot, but it’s not. If he's defending you and protecting you, maybe it's a different story. But I think playing games and a temper are red flags. 

ELLA: What are you most grateful for in this present moment? 

DORIT: Oh my god. My babies. My children. So, so grateful. 

ELLA: And what's the last thing that made you laugh hysterically?

DORIT: I need to do that more often. This is probably the longest period of time where laughter is not as prevalent as it normally is in my life. But I'm thinking about that day on the beach at Garcelle [Beauvais]’s, Kyle and I were literally almost peeing our pants. We laughed so hard. We were on the ground nearly wetting ourselves—I think she actually did. 

ELLA: As we close out this season, I wonder, if you could give a name to the next chapter in your story, what would it be? And what does that look like?

DORIT: I want the next chapter to be “happy”: smiling from ear to ear, butterflies, feeling so fulfilled, excited, at peace, optimistic and content. Hopefully that. Hopefully all of that.

ELLA: Stay tuned.